God is my confident

I watched God is not Dead’s movie yesterday. The movie’s story is about a teacher who get accuse from her parent’s student because she tells about her faith when she teach. The rigger is when one of her student asks about that unviolence of Mahatma Gandhi is like scripture of the Bible. The School bring this case to the court, there is strick battel, The teacher defy what she do is wrong.

This Movie is much of drama, some of scene bring us to deeper emotional. the movie realize that God is still exist, and He always sees us.

Sometimes i shame when i look the fact of me, and when i compare with my friend, i see huge distance about us, They’ve became great person and i still stuck in here.

This year, i have a achievement, one of them is i wish i can stud abroard, maybe in either Dutch or Sweden, so from january until middle of april, i’l focuse on IELTS preperation, but one month left, i just see little bit progression.

So many duty in my mind which must i do, but when i will do it, i stop. Too difficult to decide just one duty i must complete.

Honestly, i am affraid about this. i’m affraid i just waste my time in this year. This anxiety kill my big dream seriously. I am affraid to look and take one step up in front of me. I realize i’m not ready to face the truth. For now, i have no power.

In other way, i must compete with other to get abroard scholarship, it add my mentality break down. I have not enough ability.

But this movie realize me that you never alone, He ever ever let and leave you alone. Whatever your situation right now, affraid, shame, break down, guilty, all of this doesn’t make His existence disappear. He still here.

This is serious God, this anxiety will kill me seriously. I’ll try to trust in you. Eventhough i don’t know what should i do right now.

I now you still there, but i am not sure if you see me. Save me from this doubt cause you are my confident.

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